Rubin Therapy Network

Sexual Assault & Recovery

Written By: David N. Rubin, MS, PPSC, LMFT

Sexual Assault is a topic that has been in the media lately especially with the confirmation hearing of Judge Brett Kavanaugh and his being accused of sexually assaulting Dr. Christine Blasey Ford, when they were in high school.  Every person who claims to have been raped/sexually assaulted has the right to have their case investigated.  The truth needs to be found and justice served.

I often hear a lot of students at varying levels of their development (elementary school age, middle school age and high school age) making sexual/sexualized comments, references and gestures.  One would think this might not necessarily be a big deal.  This could not be further from the truth.  This leads to objectifying people (seeing them as objects as opposed to people).

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Myths:

**Only certain people will be sexually assaulted.

**You are more likely to be assaulted by a stranger than someone you know.

**It cannot happen to you.

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Rape and sexual assault are about power more than sex.  Sex is the avenue that a perpetrator uses to have power over and inflict harm on the victim.  Some victims of rape refer to it as soul murder.  However, I think doing so minimizes the power that someone who has endured this truly has.  Rape and sexual assault are truly horrible and awful things that happen.  A person can, with time and work, help themselves recover and continue forward, although changed, from the event(s).

Many of those who have been sexually assaulted feel as if they are broken, that their souls have been murdered, that they can never recover.  It can definitely feels that way.  I want all those who have been raped/sexually assaulted to know that while they might feel broken they will not always be.  In Japan, when a valuable vase has broken it is not tossed away or deemed as not worth repairing, it is instead reforged with gold creating an even more beautiful vase than before.  The same holds true for those who have been assaulted, they too with time and work can become stronger and more effective at working through that horrible experience.

There are different methods used by mental health professionals in conjunction with clients to help clients develop more effective coping skills and work through the trauma of rape/sexual assault.  One of the most effective that I have used with clients is the Trauma Narrative from Trauma Focused-Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF-CBT).

A book that I highly recommend is Trauma and Recovery: The Aftermath of Violence–From Domestic Abuse to Political Terror  https://amzn.to/2IPZzUZ

Here are some other books you may find helpful:

Sexual Assault [RAPE]: Moving from Victim to Survivor  https://amzn.to/2QSwATx

The Sexual Trauma Workbook for Teen Girls: A Guide to Recovery from Sexual Assault and Abuse (Instant Help Books for Teens) https://amzn.to/2QNQX3R

Life, Reinvented: A Guide to Healing from Sexual Trauma for Survivors and Loved Ones 1st Edition  https://amzn.to/2CGJlNE